overheard in momsterland

me: "good morning sweetie"

husband: "what time is it?"

me: "almost 11 o'clock"

husband: "what? who dropped the boys at school this morning then?"

me: "I let them walk by themselves"

"it was one of those days you feel like putting in a bottle so you can keep it the rest of your life"

I want to remember everything, to commit every second to memory. landing at Heathrow airport in London grinning awkwardly and shuffling inside my air sickness bag courtesy Air France. Sean and Will stubbornly remaining true to the cause of public embarrassment as if to warrant the prodigious joy of being all together. our family bouncing merrily between food and sightseeing, happily frittering the hours away. my husband hugging the boys so fiercely I couldn't tell where he ended and where they began. and a city so beautiful it hurt to leave.

more pictures here.

normality

to the only person I can call whenever I'm running out of toilet paper

Happy Birthday!

God knows we've had our ups and downs. but I look at the man you've become over the six years we've shared a bathroom together and I am flushed with pride. I can't even begin to tell you what a wonderful husband and father you are and how much your love and support mean to me. the happiness we've hovered in, the challenges we've met, the goals we've achieved, I'm grateful for everything we've survived, and for each day I spend with you, literally.

thank you for working so hard, for wiping our sons' bottoms twice, for loving me so much and for making the impossible dream a palpable reality.

I love you,

xoxo

some things change, others don't

last night

I blinked for a few seconds and shook my head with disbelief. Italy. he'd just told me he was in Italy. I buzzed my husband up. his eyes were beaming. his pride shinning like a beacon. I could not believe it. he was here. like a dream surviving the real world. we held each other for a long, long time ignoring the how and why questions, our hearts overflowing with an impossible yearning for this moment to never end. later we engaged in rambling conversations about the boys and climbed into bed, making spoons. sinking in each other's embrace. our souls coinciding.  as I idly ran my fingers over his face I could feel the glorious blanket of sleep closing over his tired body.

he snored.

6 hours later he was gone again.

Happy Christmas

"relax!"

"relax? how can I relax? plastic bag! I packed my panties in a plastic bag!"

"I love this. unpredicted and crazy. no plans, just us, leaving for a couple of days."

"I hate this. I mean, no list!"

"yeah, I know. but tomorrow morning you'll wake up and see the ocean and you'll be happy we did it."

and I was.

La Baule, on the Atlantic coast. a 5-hour drive. room service, restaurants and a life stripped of anything resembling domestic duties. the boys twinkling with delight. the pool, the big bed, so many new buttons to push.

the incessant phone calls from the office. my husband deserting home. my frustration. all evaporating like sea foam.

Sean running triumphantly on the sand leaving a trail of dazzling exhilaration behind him, so bright it blinds me. his soul flinging to the highest. flashes of perfect innocence flickering across his face. it is so beautiful it plucks out my momster heart. and gives meaning to my life. to everything.

Happy Christmas,

xoxo

he's back

he's back. unashamedly outlining the beauty and the foundations of our family. packing us with boundless love. and ending the full-time domesticity of my life.

look who's here

I was in utter surprise. M&M's lunch boxes, truffles from Godiva and Winnie the Pooh pasta. the boys buzzing with compulsive elation. of course, he's here for only one day. of course, I have to wash his socks. but the scent of his unexpected presence appeases the multitude of conflicting emotions that were balking my existence lately. like butter to my bread. sharpening my senses. atoning for my faults. making life delectable again.

until he leaves for another 10 days.

but for now he's here. he's home.

I love you too